I bloody love you God.
Through thick and thin
You have been there
I can remember
Running across the playground from the fists of bullies with their turned up faces of anguish and all clawing nails
Wandering across the slope of the world and singing and then all the trees sang too
and then I knew that I was really not alone.
I looked for you in books… in Enid Blyton! And in garden ponds behind the twist of a snail’s shell and in the dew that goes early away.
I flew on the wings of the morning and over the hoar frost like ashes scattered across the lawn and decided to dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea and be an explorer.
And then I stopped looking and starting shouting.
Running across the playground face turned up in anguish and all clawing nails
‘I bloody love you God… Where have you gone?’
And then I saw you wandering across the slope of the world surrounded by the fists of bullies with their turned up faces of anguish and all clawing nails. You were not my hero and I was not your heroine.
And then I stopped shouting.
Because they were shouting.
But you did not open your mouth… you just looked at me God. You just bloody looked at me and I knew.